La Herencia del Tío Fermín
(Uncle Fermín's Inheritance)
Cuando el notario leyó el testamento del tío Fermín, los cuatro sobrinos se quedaron en silencio.
When the notary read Uncle Fermín's will, the four nephews fell silent.
Se les había informado de que heredarían una fortuna considerable, pero nadie habría imaginado las condiciones que el anciano había establecido antes de morir.
They had been informed that they would inherit a considerable fortune, but nobody would have imagined the conditions that the old man had established before dying.
Según el documento, cada sobrino recibiría su parte únicamente si conseguía pasar una semana entera conviviendo con los demás en la vieja casa de campo de Soria, sin que ninguno abandonara la propiedad.
According to the document, each nephew would receive their share only if they managed to spend an entire week living together with the others in the old country house in Soria, without any of them leaving the property.
El problema era que los cuatro sobrinos se detestaban mutuamente.
The problem was that the four nephews mutually detested each other.
Paco, un abogado de Madrid que siempre había presumido de ser el favorito de Fermín, aseguró que el testamento podría ser impugnado.
Paco, a lawyer from Madrid who had always boasted about being Fermín's favourite, claimed that the will could be contested.
Lola, la veterinaria de Sevilla, le respondió que si hubiera estudiado derecho de verdad en lugar de comprarse el título, sabría que no se podía impugnar nada.
Lola, the vet from Seville, replied that if he had actually studied law properly instead of buying his degree, he would know that nothing could be contested.
Ramón, que había sido despedido de tres trabajos aquel mismo año, dijo que le daba igual con tal de que le pagaran.
Ramón, who had been sacked from three jobs that same year, said he did not care as long as they paid him.
Y Marisol, la pequeña, declaró que si no fuera por el dinero, no habría cruzado la calle para ver a ninguno de ellos.
And Marisol, the youngest, declared that if it were not for the money, she would not have crossed the street to see any of them.
La primera noche fue un desastre.
The first night was a disaster.
Paco había traído tres maletas como si fuera a instalarse en un hotel de cinco estrellas y se quejó de que las sábanas olieran a humedad.
Paco had brought three suitcases as if he were going to settle into a five-star hotel and complained that the sheets smelled of damp.
Lola respondió que, si tanto le molestaba, siempre podía dormir en el jardín con los perros que ella había insistido en traer.
Lola replied that, if it bothered him so much, he could always sleep in the garden with the dogs she had insisted on bringing.
Ramón se comió todas las provisiones que habían comprado para la semana y, cuando se le reprochó, alegó que nadie le había dicho cuál era su parte.
Ramón ate all the supplies they had bought for the week and, when he was reproached, claimed that nobody had told him which was his share.
Al tercer día, Marisol descubrió que el tío Fermín había dejado una carta escondida detrás de un cuadro en el salón.
On the third day, Marisol discovered that Uncle Fermín had left a letter hidden behind a painting in the living room.
En ella se explicaba que la verdadera herencia no era el dinero, que en realidad apenas sumaba doscientos euros, sino la casa misma, que había sido valorada en medio millón.
In it, it was explained that the real inheritance was not the money, which in fact barely amounted to two hundred euros, but the house itself, which had been valued at half a million.
Sin embargo, la propiedad solo podría ser vendida si los cuatro firmaban de mutuo acuerdo.
However, the property could only be sold if all four of them signed by mutual agreement.
Marisol se echó a reír tan fuerte que los perros de Lola empezaron a ladrar.
Marisol burst out laughing so hard that Lola's dogs started barking.
<<El viejo nos ha tendido una trampa>>, dijo Paco, que parecía a punto de arrancarse el pelo. <<Nos ha obligado a convivir para siempre.>> Lola señaló que no era para siempre, sino hasta que aprendieran a comportarse como personas civilizadas.
<<The old man has set us a trap,>> said Paco, who looked as though he were about to tear his hair out. <<He has forced us to live together forever.>> Lola pointed out that it was not forever, but rather until they learned to behave like civilised people.
Ramón, que ya se había comido también la reserva de galletas del sótano, comentó que a él le parecía un plan estupendo, siempre y cuando alguien fuera al pueblo a comprar más comida.
Ramón, who had already also eaten the reserve supply of biscuits from the cellar, remarked that it seemed like an excellent plan to him, as long as someone went to the village to buy more food.
La semana transcurrió entre peleas absurdas y reconciliaciones forzadas.
The week passed between absurd fights and forced reconciliations.
Paco intentó redactar un contrato que regulara el uso del cuarto de baño.
Paco tried to draft a contract that would regulate the use of the bathroom.
Lola amenazó con que sus perros serían nombrados cotitulares de la propiedad.
Lola threatened that her dogs would be named co-owners of the property.
Ramón propuso que se turnaran para cocinar, aunque fue destituido tras incendiar la cortina de la cocina.
Ramón proposed that they take turns cooking, although he was dismissed after setting fire to the kitchen curtain.
Y Marisol, que había permanecido callada durante la mayor parte de la semana, les confesó el último día que hacía años que no se reía tanto.
And Marisol, who had remained quiet for most of the week, confessed to them on the last day that she had not laughed so much in years.
Cuando por fin se marcharon, los cuatro se despidieron con un abrazo torpe que habría horrorizado al tío Fermín, o quizás le habría hecho sentir exactamente lo que había pretendido.
When they finally left, the four of them said goodbye with an awkward hug that would have horrified Uncle Fermín, or perhaps would have made him feel exactly what he had intended.
Paco prometió que volvería en verano, aunque añadió que traería sus propias sábanas.
Paco promised that he would come back in summer, although he added that he would bring his own sheets.
Lola sugirió que se reunieran cada Navidad.
Lola suggested that they meet up every Christmas.
Ramón preguntó si podía llevarse la nevera.
Ramón asked whether he could take the fridge.
Y Marisol, por primera vez en su vida adulta, pensó que tal vez tener familia no fuera una condena, sino simplemente una comedia muy larga.
And Marisol, for the first time in her adult life, thought that perhaps having a family was not a sentence, but simply a very long comedy.
Key Vocabulary
el testamento the will, testament
impugnar to contest, to challenge legally
convivir to live together, to coexist
las provisiones the supplies, provisions
reprochar to reproach, to criticise
tender una trampa to set a trap
cotitular co-owner, joint holder
destituir to dismiss, to remove from a position
la condena the sentence, the condemnation
de mutuo acuerdo by mutual agreement